Anne‑Maartje Oud is author of WHAT TO DO IF…? How to Handle Any Situation at Work and Come Out Winning published by Kogan Page.
Awkward moments at work are part of the job.
Awkward moments at work are part of the job.They do not happen because people lack knowledge or competence. They arise because we are human, because pressure affects our behaviour and because habits often take over before we have time to reflect.
Awkward situations catch us off guard. Stress speeds up our heartbeat and makes clarity of thinking difficult. That clarity often comes afterwards, when the moment has passed and you are on your way back home realizing what you should have done or said. The good news is this: while you cannot predict every situation, you can prepare your behaviour. You can practise calm responses and think through likely scenarios in advance.
Here are five common awkward situations at work and the behaviour that works in each.
An Emotional Response
Whether it’s you yourself who shows sheds some tears, or a colleague, a lot of people feel awkward when they cry. But tears are just a form of communication. You do not need to apologise for every emotion. Emotions are signals and they show that something matters. If you feel overwhelmed, you can say:
- “I need a moment.”
- “Can we pause briefly?”
Just give yourself space, breathe or drink some water. Let the intensity decrease naturally. If a colleague becomes emotional, resist the urge to fix it immediately. Instead, stay present and be there for the person.
You could ask:
- “What is it that you need right now?”
Often, what helps most is time and calm attention both for yourself and others.
You speak and the room goes quiet
You make a joke, introduce a topic or share an opinion, and suddenly you feel the atmosphere in the room shift. The conversation stops and it goes quiet. And in that silence, you sense the awkwardness settling in.
In that moment, many people begin to overexplain. They rush to fill the space with extra words, trying to ease their own discomfort. Yet the more information you add, the more awkward it might become. Rather than pushing against the silence, pause and name what you observe.
For example:
- “That didn’t land as I intended.”
- “I realise that may have come across differently. Let me rephrase.”
By verbalising the effect, you show awareness. You demonstrate that you are paying attention to the room, not just to your own message.
You show that you acknowledge a misstep and that it can be addressed openly rather than ignored.
You’re asked a question and don’t know the answer.
Not knowing can make you feel lost and exposed. Especially in environments where expertise is valued. Often people start to fill the gap. Talking in circles with lots ‘of uhs, guessing or overcompensating. That is a behavioural reflex driven by discomfort. Instead, slow yourself down. Notice the urge to defend your competence and choose clarity instead.
You can simply say:
- “I don’t know the answer to that at this moment.”
- “I need to look into this. I’ll come back to you by tomorrow.”
We must understand that clear language builds credibility. People trust those who calmly verbalize what they know and what they do not know. What undermines trust is vague language, deflection or pretending.
Giving negative feedback
Many people postpone feedback. They wait days or weeks, hoping the issue will resolve itself. It rarely does. Give feedback as soon as reasonably possible because the longer feedback is delayed, the more it becomes loaded. Irritations build and what could have been a short, constructive conversation turns into a bigger confrontation.
Effective feedback is observable and specific. Describe behaviour, then describe the effect and give a suggestion of what to do next time.
Instead of:
- “You need to communicate better.”
Say for example:
- “In yesterday’s client meeting, you interrupted twice while Sarah was explaining the proposal. I noticed the client frowning afterwards, which suggested he was confused. Next time I would wait until she is finished so you can add what is needed but not interrupt.”
Also pay attention to your non-verbal behaviour when you give feedback. Think about eye contact, use a steady voice and a calm posture. Giving feedback signals: we address behaviour here, because we care about our work and about each other.
Unfamiliar terms
Someone uses an abbreviation you do not recognise or refers to something as if everyone already understands the background.
People often speak as though the context or information is obvious to all. In reality, it rarely is. What usually happens? People nod along while feeling unsure. They stay quiet and hope someone else will ask for clarification. Saying “I’m not following” requires courage, yet it often creates relief in the room.
You can say:
- “Can you clarify what you mean by that term?”
- “I’m missing some context. Could you explain the background?”
Asking for clarification is not a sign of incompetence but a sign that you care about accuracy.
Awkward moments will not disappear.
But how awkward they become lies in how you respond.
The most important thing is to stay calm and give yourself some time to choose a strategy. The calmer you are the more chance you will have to choose behaviour that is effective and that gives you a positive outcome. Because awkwardness itself is rarely the issue. What gets in the way is not addressing it.
